Sunday, December 21, 2008

All I want for 2009.

So I was talking to a friend earlier this evening and she mentioned that she wanted to get something done by New Year's Eve. I was all like, "Girl, you got plenty of time to get it done!" thinking that New Year's Eve was like a month away. Right. Clearly, I was wrong because New Years Eve is 10 days away (which isn't really much time for my friend to do what she wants to do)! I don't know how I managed to get this close to the end of the year without realizing it.

2008 isn't over yet, but thus far, it's been a rough year. So it's nice, as I take a break from studying for the bar exam, to think about all I want for the next year, such as (in no particular order):

1. Passing the bar exam/getting my license to practice.

And when I mean passing the bar exam, I mean to say that when I sit for the bar exam in New York on February 24 and 25, 2009, I will produce responses that let the New York State Board of Law Examiners know that I am competent to be an attorney and accordingly, they give me a score higher than a 665 (or whatever the passing score will be). And then passing the character and fitness assessment. And then whatever hoop they want me to jump through.


The young man pictured to the left is Thurgood Marshall, one of the greats in American jurisprudence and a source of inspiration as I pursue my legal career. The work that he and other attorneys did with the NAACP LDF has much to do with how I was even able to obtain the level of education I've obtained! When I read things he's written (court decisions, case briefs, etc.) and about other things he did in his career for people of color, I can't help but to feel that 1 - I belong in the legal profession and 2- he's my forefather and that it's up to me to carry on the legacy in my own special way.

Kinda hard to do that without a license to practice law though.

2. Land my first career position.

(From the September 2007 issue of Vogue).

So I'm currently working in my first job out of law school. It's a temporary gig and so far it's been a great learning experience but it isn't my first career position, at all. In 2009 (early 2009) I'd like to work in the first job where I'm doing work that is identifiably the work of an attorney. Since it'd be my first job, and also due to the nature of legal work, there is bound to be parts of this job that will not be identifiably the work of an attorney, and that's fine. But I would like to have a job that makes use of the full extent of reasoning, analytical, writing and research skills I gained while earning my JD and puts those skills to good use. And I would like that position to be what positions me on the road to greatness in my career, much like the story of Lady O, above. (And please note, she would not have ever been Mrs. Obama if she wasn't the greatness that she was then and still is.)

I'm sure it won't be easy, but we weren't put here for comfort - but for greatness, for good.

3. 702 sounds a lot better explaining this one.

I came across this oldie but goodie from the Goodburger soundtrack recently and realized that they were singing MY song. Listening to it again right now and I realize that what they're singing about isn't ALL that I want, but it's definitely a start. And I'd like for it to start in 2009.

4. 80 pounds lost and never to be found again.

It's about my health mainly. Apart from that - it's a little bit about making some haters feel bad about themselves (honestly, NOT the best reason, but honestly, the truth). It's also demonstrating to others, and myself, that what seems inconceivable to do can be done, that the extremely difficult is doable, nevertheless . It's also about getting into this dress:

Generation Mini Dress by BCBG. $132 , Newport News.

So I got this dress with a pretty good discount (score!) and I have to say that it looks better in person than online. I can't wait to wear it sometime next year!

5. Running in a marathon.

Not sure which marathon. NYC's marthon would be cool. I just want to run in one. And be in the right shape to run in one. This one is inextricably linked to #4. And it's just about proving it to myself that I can do it.

6. Organizing my life.

They say dull women have immaculate homes. If so, then I might be the most interesting woman anyone has ever met.

I'd show you a picture but it might scare you. And I wouldn't want to do that. Just know I'm really not fussy about things like this, so if I have a problem with it, then it is REALLY bad. I find that my room often reflects my state of my life- and so if you see my room, you will know just how much stuff I have going on. Things are hectic and my room reflects it. I think in March, when the exam is behind me, I will have to organize my room to start the process of organizing my life.

7. Eliminating my credit card debt.

So I basically took out a mortgage for my education (and please believe one's degree is actually their property) so I will have that piece of debt for a lil while. The consumer debt in my name, however, will be eliminated in 2009. Somehow, I will have to find a way to knock that out and pay my loans on time. And I will find that way and execute the plan in 2009.

8. Improving my finances overall.

This means improving my credit score (nowhere to go but up at this point), eliminating my consumer debt (see above), saving SOMETHING (hard to do that when you have loans to pay back, but where there's a will and a plan...) and finding extra sources of income apart from my first career job (see above). I signed up for's services and I think this site will be key to my success.

9. Getting published.

Not sure what and not sure how, but I intend for 2009 to be the year that some publication features something written by me. I actually have seen my name in a by-line (in college) but since rediscovering my love for writing (long story!) I have been dreaming of actually writing something (preferably something creative) and having some publication say that they'd love to include it with whatever else they do.

I'm sure if I had the time, I could come up with a couple of other things to add to the list. I think this list is a pretty good start though. One great thing I learned in 2008 is that when it comes to goals and ambition - listing, planning, executing, focusing and such is all important and necessary, but so is trusting in God (or the Universe, if you prefer) that it will happen. And with all I have experienced in my life, and in this year alone (crazy times!) my trust in God is stronger than ever.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Touch. Stone. Love.

I love it when I hear words that
touch my soul - that carve themselves in my heart
as if it were a stone.
Like when you spoke to me the other day
and used all the words you could possibly find
in your lexicon to tell me how you felt about me,
when all you were really saying was that you love me.
Typically I prefer your stone-cold straight-up style of speech
but this time, I found myself wanting your touch as I listened
and I contemplated the effort it took for you to find those words
and use them to craft meanings and messages
evoking love. It can be a heavy feeling, I know.
It can come crashing down on you like an avalanche of stones
when it's felt but remains unexpressed.
You managed to touch my soul.
My heart was your slab of stone
as you used your words to sculpt into shape
your strong, beautiful love.

© 2008 PGB

Earlier this year I was signing up to receive a website's newsletter and had to create a screenname. Instead of one of my usuals, I decided to step outside of my box of "Tricia/Trish" permutations, flex my creative prowess and come up with something unique. I decided to use the first three words that came to my mind as a screenname. Those words were touch, stone and love (surprise surprise!) and they came to me in that order.

I don't know why those words came to mind at all. I hadn't come across anything I could deem a touchstone, and while I enjoy Stone Love I hadn't listened to any of their mixtapes or been to any of their parties in quite some time. I thought touchstonelove was a good screenname though - and something about the combination screamed "play with me!" I love playing with words - and so I decided that I would challenge myself by playing around with the three words and see what would result. And there, you have it - concocted while on break at work today.

Now that you know the back story, it might be interesting for you to reread the piece and see if you feel differently about it. Or maybe not. Or maybe you might be interested in checking out a couple of other pieces of mine that came about as a result of me commencing in some wordplay: Assonance (Acid) and Miss Birch.

Writing this one was fun.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


There are days when I doubt myself. I think about all the things I wanna do with my life and then I hear "What? I'm not gonna do all that!"

I hate that voice. The You-Can't Voice. I hate the limits that it once has and still potentially could put on my life.

This morning, I accepted that this voice is a part of who I am, take it or leave it. I also accepted that fighting the YCV only gives the YCV strength - paying any attention to the YCV makes the things it says more likely to come true (in adherence with the law of attraction). The only way to truly reject Ms. YCV is to respect her existence, and shift my focus on my achieving my goals (like I would any other hater).

As soon as this happened, I checked my email inbox and saw my DailyOM horoscope for the day. I'd strongly suggest clicking the link (especially if you're a Taurus!) but in case you don't, the gist of the message was that today was a day where I might feel limitless in respect to my goals. Talk about being ON-POINT!

Limitless. Is it really possible to live a life without limit? I'm in the legal profession so not only do I know this isn't true - I have an understanding on just how some of those limits work. So then, it's not possible to live a live without ANY limit. But what about living a life with no limit to the greatness you can achieve?

I don't know the answer to that yet, but I intend to live my life trying to find the answer.

Limitless. I think I might add this to the list of my favorite words. Another one of my favorite words is:

ne plus ultra
Pronunciation: \ˌnā-ˌpləs-ˈəl-trə, ˌnē-\
Etymology: New Latin, (go) no more beyond
1 : the highest point capable of being attained : acme
2 : the most profound degree of a quality or state
© 2008 Merriam Webster Online

So technically it's not a word - more like a phrase - but when I saw this entry as my Merriam Webster Word of the Day back in June 2005 (God bless my memory) it automatically clicked with me. I remember that day I had been thinking about whether I had been living to my fullest potential and then saw the entry above. It clicked because the word/phrase means "the highest point capable of being attained" yet there's this back story (i.e., its etymology) that serves to remind that going to the highest point capable implies that there is a limit involved. At the time I had issues with going after my goals while respecting my natural God given limits - like for example, with time and sleep. Sleep is so important to success - learned that the hard way - and it's not worth sacrificing for an extra hour to get something done.

To live to my fullest potential, I HAVE to respect certain limits. Since 2005 I've learned to do this but now is the time for me to think and act and believe that what I can and will achieve is limitless. Is it possible to live limitlessly but within limits?

I'll have to get back to you on that.

One thing I do know is that the universe conspires to support me. Last night I needed to be reminded of this and lo and behold - I got the reminder via Twitter. The writer of this blog started following me right around the time I needed to remember this - and I just happened to be checking my email when Twitter sent me the notification. And so I checked his Twitter and his blog and what was his latest post called? The universe conspires to support you. I suggest you read his blog - it discusses the law of attraction really well - but if you don't, just understand that being open to the support of the universe is key to the support the universe will provide. Or in the words of a mullah that my friend heard during the Eid prayer:

God speaks to us, but our hearts need to be clear to hear it.

So I've been working on clearing my heart. Did a little bit just now by writing this - which I started because Ms. YCV started up her blathering as I watched Stylista and had a thought about something I would love to do. I hope your heart is clear enough to hear Him speaking to you.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


It happened in the shower. I had commenced with my weekly shampoo and conditioner ritual - lather, rinse, lather, detangle, rinse, condition, rinse. For some reason, I felt the need to break away from the mundane after I detangled. I stood there, and instead of going for the conditioner, I went for my hair.

I didn't just touch it - I touch my hair all the time - but I felt it. I felt its softness. I felt its strength. I felt its bumpy nature. It was calming - comforting even. I felt it with my hands - and then I brought the ends of my hair around to my face and nuzzled my nose in it. I smelled the clean, sweet smell of my shampoo, felt the smooth, hard and thick nature of my individual hair strands as they tickled my nose.

It then dawned on me why people are always so fascinated with my hair. Even women who have similar hair to me - who wear their hair in a similar way - they just seem fascinated with it. I've always loved my hair - but simply because it was mine. Each hair on my head, each curl and wave and kink, was God given. Why not love it? But now I understood the fascination - why people always want to reach out and touch it - why every man who has ever touched or nuzzled his nose in my hair has been turned on by it.

The realization: it may just be hair, but my hair is just sexy.

Conditioning my hair never felt so good.

On Tricianess.


While this is the first posting in this blog, this is by no means my first blog post. You are reading what I intend to be the continuation of two blog ventures I've had going for awhile now: Tricia writes... and Tricia says. How I even got to writing two separate blogs is a long story (some of which you can read here and here, if you like) but basically: one blog was dedicated to my passion for writing, and the other blog was dedicated to my passion for everything else, including my legal career. I was treating my legal and literary pursuits as two separate parts of my life and having two separate blogs was merely a reflection of this. It dawned on me late last night that this was the wrong way to go about pursuing my dreams. While they don't have much to do with one another, both my pursuits are MINE, and I'm only one person. I don't lead a double life - I don't have a split personality - I'm me, singularly. So why should I be pursuing my dreams like they belong to separate lives? I believe the best way to go after my dreams is to approach them in a way that respects each pursuit as just an integral part of the whole "Tricianess."

What is Tricianess?

So the one thing that my literary and legal pursuits have in common is my passion for words. I love them so much that I read dictionaries for fun. While browsing through a dictionary one day I came across this definition:
-ness |nəs; nis|
forming nouns chiefly from adjectives: suffix
1 denoting a state or condition : liveliness | sadness.
© 2008 New Oxford American Dictionary.
While -ness is typically attached to adjectives, I thought, "Why not attach it to my name when speaking/thinking of my state or condition?" (Something only a logophile would probably think!) And there you have it. Tricianess.

So if you visit this blog, expect to read something or the other about the state or condition of being Tricia. There will be some poetry, some prose, some ramblings and other kinds of expositions about whatever's on my mind. Right about now, the major thing on my mind is passing the bar exam in February. There's some other stuff going on too. I have like two good pieces formulating. Hopefully I'll get one out by tomorrow.

Thanks for reading.