28 Lessons Learned in 27 Years.

This is actually a continuation of a list of lessons learned that I wrote after I turned 25. Two years later and the life lessons just don't stop pouring in!

1. Anything worth having is worth working for until you get it. Even if you have to make multiple attempts, spend all kinds of money and time to get it - if it's worth having, it's worth the effort needed to get it. For example - I'm taking the bar exam in NY AGAIN. And it's totally worth the effort.
2. If I'm not willing to put in all the work and effort required to get something, then I probably don't want it or need it.
3. There is a distinction between what I want to do and what I have to do, but ultimately, I tend to treat them as the same. What I want to do is what I have to do, and what I have to do is what I want to do. This is an important part of how I stay driven.
4. Taking a step out on faith requires that you already have faith in place before you take that step.
5. Faith is all you really need to go for what you want out of life. Take a step towards what you want, even if you can't see the way towards it, and the way will be made for you.
5. Those who walk without faith will let you know about their lack of faith with their constant searching for earthly assurance.
6. The way to increase your faith is to stop looking for tangible, physical, earthly signs to show you the way. Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. - Augustine of Hippo.
7. People who seriously lack in faith (in themselves, in the universe, etc.) drain and frustrate me.
8. Trying is acting with the intent to fail. I am learning to eliminate the word from my lexicon and the act from my life.
9. You never know just where, or how, you will find opportunities. Be open to every possibility. (Word to twitter!)
10. It's totally possible to create great friendships without ever being face to face with your friend - communication is key (Word to HER!)
11. The key to giving someone a great gift is to be attentive to their needs, likes and dislikes. The best gifts will meet the needs of the receiver, or at least their likes.
12. Your focus shapes your reality - to an extent. Your actions make up for the rest.
13. Doing what you love (which requires focus and action) only brings more of what you love. Why not just do what you love?
14. Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal. - Vince Lombardi
15. When I look back at the past few years of my life and everything that I've done and experienced, I see where and how my accomplishments weren't my doing, but was God. I was never alone. God has always carried me through. (Word to Footprints In The Sand!)
16. It is totally possible to live without all the stuff I've accumulated in 27 years. I've always known that but I didn't know how I could. Recently I've had to actually live without being in possession of most the things I own and I've been just fine without them. I don't even miss most of them.
17. The way I have accumulated so much is a lack of mindfulness of my acquiring/spending habits. Mindfulness leads to freedom from possessions.
18. I enjoy organizing and planning. I should do it for a living.
19. I enjoy making people look nice. I should do it for a living.
20. I enjoy analyzing and writing and discussing the law. I need to pass the bar exam so I can be licensed to practice law!!
21. The object of life is not pursuing happiness - but growth. Happiness is merely but a result of growth.
22. Things are only difficult when we perceive them that way.
23. Actions speak louder than words, but actions can also undermine how we feel. People don't always act in accordance to their feelings - all kinds of other things can come into play to drive someone to behave a certain way.
24. Nothing exists but the here and now. As a result, I find that people who live bogged down in the past - who drag their pasts into their present and use it to determine their future - SUCK. I have no time for people like this.
25. Opinions are like assholes - we all got 'em and we all use 'em. No one's opinion on your life matters as much as yours, but there's nothing wrong with being impacted by another person's opinion on your life. Just gotta keep in mind the place of other people's opinions in your life (secondary!)
26. You can't hope for what you already have. And you shouldn't hope only for what appears to be in reach.
27. My friends are astounding people. ASTOUNDING. I'm always in awe.
28. The universe conspires to support you at all times. You just have to be open to receiving the support.

P.S. It's my birthday.

Style without limit.

Since writing the last post I've been doing a lot of thinking about my voice and I've decided that I don't need to figure that out just yet. I should let the voice develop as I go along and figure myself out. I'm sure it will come together. My reader will probably know my "voice" before I do.

In the midst of all this thinking of my voice I got to thinking about my style in general - which lead to thoughts of style, generally - which lead to my latest writing endeavor:

Style Without Limit.

I figured the concept was worth an endeavor. Let's see where this goes!

Beyond the byline.

I was listening to that new Soulja Boy Tell 'Em joint this morning (Hop up out the beeeeed, turn my swag awwwwwn, took a look in a mirror, said what's UP. Yeaaaa...) and as I turned my swag on I thought about how most people that pay any attention to hip hop or pop music will expect a certain kind of sound (his style of music, content, lack of adept lyricism etc.) when they hear a song associated with the name "Soulja Boy Tell 'Em." He could definitely grow and change as an artist and thus his sound would change - but as of now, the Soulja Boy Tell 'Em sound has been established and much of his success is due to consumers merely EXPECTING that sound when they hear his name attached to a particular song.

I thought about it and it hit me - as far as my writing is concerned, I really don't have a "sound!"

I've looked through through the things I've written through the years and it seems to me that I don't really have a particular sound, or rather, a voice. I'm missing that particular "something" that makes me stand out amongst the bevy of bloggers/writers on- and offline. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this, and looking through my work, because I have been SO UNINSPIRED lately. Boo.

It's not about a lack of things to write about. I can come up with a bunch of things to write about - and as a matter of fact, last Tuesday I attended a free article writing class at the Gotham Writers Workshop where I had to do just that. Our instructor basically had us do an idea development exercise, which we started by coming up with a long list of very general topics that we were passionate enough to write about. I was actually surprised at the number of things that came to mind as "topics I'm passionate enough to write about" - any one of them could be the focal point for an entire blog or website or publication. The exercise continued on with us developing a particular article idea from one of our more general ideas - a great exercise which left me thrilled about writing...

And the next day - nothing. I sat with a (virtual) piece of paper in front of me and came up with nothing to write about. Boo.

Since then, I've been exploring my issues and I realize that the problem is not with ideas but that I don't have a particular "thing" I'd like to be about when it comes to my writing. I don't know what makes me stand out - I don't have anything in particular to offer that's different or special than your average writer on the come-up. I have yet to come across a successful artist that didn't have that "thing" they're known for. And I believe that if I'm to be taken seriously as a writer, I need to establish my voice. What do I think I should be delivering to my readers? What should people expect when they see my name in the byline?

I guess the process of growth as an artist means developing that voice. Right about now, it has me sort of stuck.

Writing this was just my way of trying to unstick myself. If I write something here tomorrow, it means that it worked.