There are so many - too many - blogs with my writing on the internet! Just too many blogs exist where I've started to write with a particular concept in mind and stopped writing. But it figures (knowing myself as well as I do, anyway). I've always been one to keep trying until I get it right. Never really been one to give up on something that I want to accomplish.
I want to be published. I don't know how it'll happen, I don't know where it'll happen and I don't even what form of writing I really want to publish - but I want to be published and I want my writing to be appreciated by the masses. I love the law and I'm interested in public policy as well - I have no plans on leaving that world of public service for my writing. I can't deny, however, that my first love and my true passion is in the written word - and sharing the written word.
The only success I've had with writing was with Xanga. If you are in the Xanga community (or are interested in the Xanga community) check me out here (you'll need a Xanga username and password to view the blog). I kept that blog up consistently from the end of 2004 to some time in 2008. I gained a decent amount of followers and, to my delight, a few of those followers became my friends (and not just internet friends who I instant message now and then!). I think the key to my success with that blog had to do with the consistency of my writing and also the fact that xanga is truly a community of blogs. It was easier for me to keep up with the blog because when I wrote I felt like I was talking to my "friends" and between 2004-2008 (aka my time in law school) I NEEDED a support group to get me through it all! If you view the blog you'll see that I've written kind of recently but I don't keep it up as often as I did back then... I don't have the same need for a support group/blog I guess.
But I miss writing on a regular basis. And I want to be published and I will not be published if I don't write. So I'm back at it. And I actually have things to write about!
I'm also going to go back to writing on xanga on a regular basis. I want to see if writing success is easier when you have a built-in audience... I left xanga in part because it really didn't seem like the place to jump off a real writing career - blogger is much more accessible in terms of providing writing samples.
Let's see what happens.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Marriage.
I know the Love that waits for me
Is a love so deep and pure I can't even really fathom it -
So I don't wonder about it anymore.
I know that what Life has in store for me
is wilder than my wildest dreams
Sits outside the boundaries of my imagination
And far exceeds anything I could possibly expect
So I don't do too much thinking of it anymore.
I know that it's out there, waitingIs a love so deep and pure I can't even really fathom it -
So I don't wonder about it anymore.
I know that what Life has in store for me
is wilder than my wildest dreams
Sits outside the boundaries of my imagination
And far exceeds anything I could possibly expect
So I don't do too much thinking of it anymore.
And each day that passes by is a day I get closer to it -
And my sense for it gets stronger daily -So I've let go of looking for it.
I know that the Love that waits for meIsn't meant for my full understanding
Some things need our acceptance, and nothing more;
When I'm ready to accept it,
I know that this Love will actually find me.© 2009 Patricia B.
--
The process:
I've been having lots of conversations lately with my girlfriends about marriage... well, actually more about weddings than marriage but definitely on the topic of what it takes to be successful in marriage. I guess I'm just in the time of my life where these conversations are more prevalent - because they sure weren't a few years ago! Just now, as I thought of the prospect of me being married, the first line of that poem popped into my head. And then the rest just flowed out.
When I'm ready to accept it/ I know that this Love will actually find me.
I don't know why, but I'm not worried.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
On Pride and its Place.
The biggest failures I have ever seen and experienced have always come about because someone could not let go of their pride. What's is its purpose? Where does pride really belong, if anywhere? It's good when we are proud of ourselves - our accomplishments, our acquisitions - right? But why does this even have an impact on the parts of our lives that have to do with other people?
***
Pride is what keeps a father and son from talking for 10 years or so because they argued and no one wants to say sorry, even when the son might be in danger of his life, unbeknownst to the father. The father's pride is so important that he doesn't even know that it has taken precedence over his interest in his son's life.
Pride is what keeps her from telling him she loves and misses him even though she already agreed that they should "see" other people while he works abroad. She doesn't want to look like a fool, she wants him to come to her on his own. All the while, he dates foreign girls and tells her all about it.
Pride is why it took him two years to admit that he was wrong for what he did to her and ask her for another chance - but much too late. Pride took precedence over his love for her, until the time when it didn't - and she had already let go of her love for him.
Pride is what kept the child of a mother starving to the point she became sickly, because the mother could not face up to her financial difficulties and ask for public assistance. She was raised to do it on her own. Pride was more important until the child nearly died.
Pride is what kept him unemployed for an entire year, wracked in debt. Pride in his master's degree took precedence over lower level jobs until he almost lost it all. His degree could not sustain food, water and shelter on its own.
Pride is what has kept a whole race/class of people down, because looking at themselves as at least a part of their problems would mean letting go of the pride attached to overcoming. They got too comfortable blaming someone else.
***
Pride, defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary as the consciousness of one's own dignity: is it a building block of the persona, or a brick wall to accessing the truly important things in our lives? Or both?
Should we even have any "pride" in or accomplishments and acquisitions? How important are they really in the scope of who we are?
If the things in which we take pride were to fall away - do we cease to exist?
I search for answers, because all around me there is suffering, and I find that the suffering would either cease to exist or at least remain undisturbed if someone (or many people's) pride were to crumble and fall.
***
I write this, not supposing that everything in our world must have utility, but with the belief that everything has its place. So really, what I need to know is why do we have pride, and what is it's proper place?
Consider it.
***
Pride is what keeps a father and son from talking for 10 years or so because they argued and no one wants to say sorry, even when the son might be in danger of his life, unbeknownst to the father. The father's pride is so important that he doesn't even know that it has taken precedence over his interest in his son's life.
Pride is what keeps her from telling him she loves and misses him even though she already agreed that they should "see" other people while he works abroad. She doesn't want to look like a fool, she wants him to come to her on his own. All the while, he dates foreign girls and tells her all about it.
Pride is why it took him two years to admit that he was wrong for what he did to her and ask her for another chance - but much too late. Pride took precedence over his love for her, until the time when it didn't - and she had already let go of her love for him.
Pride is what kept the child of a mother starving to the point she became sickly, because the mother could not face up to her financial difficulties and ask for public assistance. She was raised to do it on her own. Pride was more important until the child nearly died.
Pride is what kept him unemployed for an entire year, wracked in debt. Pride in his master's degree took precedence over lower level jobs until he almost lost it all. His degree could not sustain food, water and shelter on its own.
Pride is what has kept a whole race/class of people down, because looking at themselves as at least a part of their problems would mean letting go of the pride attached to overcoming. They got too comfortable blaming someone else.
***
Pride, defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary as the consciousness of one's own dignity: is it a building block of the persona, or a brick wall to accessing the truly important things in our lives? Or both?
Should we even have any "pride" in or accomplishments and acquisitions? How important are they really in the scope of who we are?
If the things in which we take pride were to fall away - do we cease to exist?
I search for answers, because all around me there is suffering, and I find that the suffering would either cease to exist or at least remain undisturbed if someone (or many people's) pride were to crumble and fall.
***
I write this, not supposing that everything in our world must have utility, but with the belief that everything has its place. So really, what I need to know is why do we have pride, and what is it's proper place?
Consider it.
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